Hurts So Good
by CaptainBellarkeSwan
Summary: If Emma thought she could stop this, then she was too late. Because he knew. It felt good. So good. Like an old friend welcoming him back home. But, oh, it hurt. It hurt so good.


They were alone now after witnessing the moments that were stolen from him. After all, all it took was a simple "Go," and Zelena was gone in a puff of green smoke and a manic giggle. Shaking his head, he never really understood the woman. He still didn't.

Finally, he tore his eyes off the spot where the with once stood and shifted to observe the woman in front of him, frozen on spot. His eyes fell on those long legs, traveling up her body wrapped in black leather. Those red lips parted in. Those green eyes brimming with unshed tears. Longing. Yearning. Reaching out to him.

 _Bullshit_.

He froze. What? He frowned, his brows furrowed as the voice echoed in his ears. A whisper. So soft he almost missed it. Almost like a hiss...

"Killian."

Her voice pulled him back to reality, pulling his eyes back to look at her. There was something in her eyes. Broken. She looked broken. He recognized that look. It sent him back to that time when it all started, when he saw the first signs of the cracks in his black heart.

 _ **You and I, we understand each other.**_

Will you look at that. Even if she was the Dark One. They _both_ were, after all.

"You hear it too." she said.

"Hm..." he just hummed in response as he moved to circle around her, studying the specimen in front of him, leaning close, so close he could hear her shallow breaths and the small crack in her voice.

"Don't listen to it."

That made him stop. He straightened his back before cold laugh left his lips. He almost didn't recognize his own voice.

Walking back to stand in front of her, he could see the look on her pale, pale face as what she did slowly dawned on her. Indeed, she was wrong to do that.

"Such a nice advice, _Swan._ " he grinned, the feeling in his heart growing stronger and stronger as her face grew paler. "You know what? I would have appreciated that advice from Dark One to Dark One. But you're wrong, _love_." he bellowed as he spat that last word, watching her wince.

He held her gaze. Her terrified gaze. It stirred something inside him. Of course. It hurt. It hurt to see her looking at him like this, the pained look on her face. Emma Swan didn't deserve to be in pain anymore. Not anymore. Not when he was fully hers to love. He was supposed to make her smile. He was supposed to make her laugh, to protect her. And not let that tear escape her eye like it was rolling her cheek now.

But then there's something else inside. Something cold and hard creeping into his heart because the voice, the hissing voice told him it was her fault. She made him into this. And slowly bit by bit, he could feel his heart glow, glowing bright hot red.

"You and I are very different." he snarled, the anger enveloping him with each passing second and he could not stop it. He couldn't do anything.

"You were a hero. But me?" he chuckled coldly as he slowly backed away from her, watching the regret and hurt in her face.

Hair on the back of his neck stood as he felt something inside his veins. He could feel the burn of bright light sizzling through his body. His eyes suddenly brightened.

Magic.

Raising his hands in the air, he grinned. "It's like coming back home."

And he felt magic pouring out of his fingers as thick black smoke enveloped him. For a moment, there was darkness and suddenly he felt the ground underneath his feet once more. A wave of nausea washed over him when the smoke finally cleared.

He found himself by the docks, the Jolly Roger meters away, and the burning magic inside him gone. Magic. Indeed, he was going to have to get use to that. He never really liked magic. Ironically, he was also the Dark One. The thing that he had once been so eager to destroy. Now it's inside him.

His mind flew back to the white picket fence house.

Her fault. This was all her fault. How could she ever do this to him? How could she be so selfish?

 _Love_...

 ** _Love._**

He froze.

What had he done?

 _You've proven your worthy, Killian._

The voice he heard hissed at him.

"Who are you?" he shouted into thin air.

It laughed, the once whisper turning into a high pitched laugh he knew all too well.

"Stop playing games with me, _Crocodile!"_

It giggled the sound far more terrifying than its laugh. It sent shivers down his spine.

 _Am I really the Crocodile now? Aren't you the Dark One now, dearie?_

"Show yourself!" Killian shouted as he turned around, trying to look for the Crocodile or whatever he was that seemed like the Crocodile.

 _Where would the fun be in showing myself?_

He could feel it coming back once more. The anger deep inside of him cracking his heart out as his body grew warm and rigid. "This. Is. Not. A. Game."

 _Oh, it isn't? Let me tell you one thing pirate. It very much is._

He closed his eyes. He didn't want to listen anymore. He didn't want any of this.

 ** _Stop it._**

 _Why don't you tell that to your lady?_

 _ **Stop!**_ The walls inside him cracked as he slowly grew more agitated. He could feel the slight trembling of his tightly closed hand.

 _After all, she was the one who turned you into the darkness._

 _She was the one who made you suffer._

"KEEP YOUR FILTHY MOUTH SHUT, CROCODILE!"

And he suddenly felt something cold crawling up his neck, his arms, his legs. Slowly it enveloped him into a cold embrace. His heart. His shattered heart pieced itself back together, stone cold and hard as steel. He felt something inside him exploding in a rush of magic coursing through his body. It up his body causing a shiver in his spine. A gush of cold wind gushed over him and he felt different.

Stronger.

He knew.

If Emma thought she could stop this, then she was too late.

Because he knew.

It felt good. So good. Like an old friend welcoming him back home.

But, oh, it hurt.

It hurt so good.

* * *

 **I have no idea why I write this. It just came to me because my hands were itching to write something after watching that episode. Because, my goodness, these two are just! GAH!**

 **Leave a comment or two to tell me what you feel about my fic and the episode! Let us cry together!**

 **Anyway, I hope this makes sense. I've got more ideas to write later so watch out for those.  
**


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